Forgive me lover, for I have sinned.

Did I tell you how lonely it gets when you are asleep and I'm still up?
Well if I didn't, the answer is it gets so lonely that the seconds of silence between the tracks on my playlist feels like a decade.
Sometimes I miss you so much that my mind plays tricks on me and makes me smell your scent even when you are not around.
Did I tell you how my skin pores tries to preserve your perfume in it for nights like this so nostalgia won't eat me alive,
And how my skin itches like an addict suffering from withdrawl symptoms whenever I crave your touch and you are not here to lullaby me to sleep by the symphonies you play on my skin with your finger tips.
Did I tell you that you are so beautiful and that I'm so scared of you to a point I can't even speak about,
Because the last time I got caught up in a beautiful soul like yours it shattered me broken into thousand parts that if there is a god out there, it'd take him another seven days to put the pieces of my world back together so he can throw me in hell on judgment day.
See darling, I'm down on my knees, insecure and incomplete, former lovers took parts of me to fill the bits of emptiness within their souls, and the more parts I gave away, the more they asked for more until I fell apart, with nothing more to give.
Heart broken and hurt, I grabbed my suitcase full of nothing along with shatters of my dignity and crawled my way out of the darkness, searching for that so called light, at the end of every tunnel,
Until I caught a glimpse of it, in the spaces between the fingers of a little god who only believes in what he reads in science books.
A god that promised nothing, but his nothing was a lot more than everybody's everything, a god that didn't promise heaven or hell, but only promised now, a god that believed in me so much that I regained my will to live.
The lightness of your heart is exactly what I need, but somehow tomorrow always haunts me, will you get lighter and lighter till one day I wake up to find out that you faded away like a beautiful spring cloud? Or will I burden you to the extent that whatever we have will suffocate beneath the heaviness of my love? It's just I know nothing stays the same, lover, and you know it.
I wish you were here now, to print a kiss on my cheek like you always do and tell me to let it be, and to just embrace the moment we are in,
Wake up darling and remind me how to love myself by the way you look at me when you see me in a new outfit,
Or better yet darling, take off my cloth and pull me closer to your chest, so close that I'd feel the echoes of your heart beats in my rib cage,
Baptize me in the water of my own orgasms, then I'll whisper; forgive me lover, for I have sinned and confess all my previous heartbreaks and mention the details that might make you uncomfortable, and in your so godly way, you will breathe your holy spirit in my mouth, and a new heart will be born, unbroken and beats only to the letters of your name.