Tune of the day ♥

I'm Hungry For You, My Love

I'm still writing about you, which can never be a good sign. You are occupying a huge portion of my feelings and my thoughts which is not good, yes I repeat it's not good, it's scary and I don't know what to do. I can't go back now, there is no turning back now, and to be honest with you , I don't want to turn back. I'm enjoying every minute I waste on you, and yes I said waste because I know there is no outcome of the time and effort I'm spending on you but I don't care, I really don't. If only you know how I feel when you are not around, the minute I step and I don't find you around , it just feels weird , my eyes keeps wandering until I finally see you and Hallelujah! How safe I feel around you scares me , resisting to hug you every time I see you is getting harder everyday, I just love how you smell , how you look like , how you talk, how you walk , how you do those crazy moves I never see them coming, I even love the lame unfunny jokes you tell me which cracks me up just because you said them, I love the occasional accidental touches between us , I love how you can guide me through anything, I love how you understand me and how you got me all figured out , I love how productive our conversations are , and I adore how at the same time they can be the most useless non sense. I love how comfortable you make me feel , When I am around you , talking to you , I simply feel okay.. And I stopped feeling okay long ago .. You make me feel whole again, I know I'm screwed .. because I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is not a mutual thing, I know guys like you, guy who take full control over their heart, I know the day you will fall for me is the day the sun comes up from the west side of the sky. And don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you, I knew this from the start, I've known it all along, You will be just another break in my heart, but this time it's totally my fault, because I asked for it, I needed you, you came to me at the exact right time, that time when I needed something to shake me down to my core , something that will make me feel again , but you know what? I hate that these feelings are just temporary, I hate that you will have to go after few months , I hate how you are not mine , I hate how she have the priority in your life because obviously she is the one you chose long ago , I hate how I will never have a chance with you, I hate how I will never get to call you mine , I hate how I will never call myself yours, I hate how you will never take me to the movies like you take her and how I will never get to walk around everywhere with you holding hands because I just can't get enough of you , I hate how your arms will never be my safe place to go to no matter how much I wish they were because they are her safe place ,I hate how weak and vulnerable I feel in front of you, I hate how you mind fuck me , I hate how you play me and you know that you do ,  I hate you , I hate everything about you .. No, I don't .. and you know I don't .. I can never hate you, you are so special to me and so dear to my heart and I'd kill anyone who even think of messing with your mood and I know you think I hate her, When I don't .. I totally don't. I simply hate that she gets to have you and I don't , she has the only thing that I need but I can't get. that's right , I do need you  but I can't say it and I won't because I'm not supposed to need you or want you or even think of you or even write this whole goddamn thing .. I just needed to let it out .. although I know I'll regret that later and I'd come here on this blog and delete every post I mentioned you in to forget about this time right now .. I don't know what's so charming about you? Is it really you have such an amazing character and you are that perfect ? or is it me and my love for forbidden fruits all over again .. either this or that , here I'm writing about you when I know you don't even waste half of the time I'm wasting on you thinking of me .. for you I'm just a spring breeze in your hot summer day .. something to break the boredom .. some buzz at the end of your lousy day .. But I don't care .. for the mean time I'll settle for that.. If that will keep you close.