Saturday 16 June 2012
Friday 15 June 2012
And The Harlot Fell In Love With The Nun
I just sat there, on the chair across the bed, watching the morning light reflecting on her naked body, with an ungranted wish inside of me that time would freeze , or for her to stay asleep for a longer period , I didn't want her to wake up and start questioning why she is naked on my bed, what happened and what didn't, and I would start lying and saying nothing happened , you just got too drunk while we were playing cards and I won and dared you to take off all your clothes and you did, then some time during the night you fainted on my bed.
When in fact everything happened, everything I ever wanted since the day I met her, I still remember the very first day I saw her, I could have swore that she is an angel without wings, her milky white skin, her breath taking smile, I didnt believe in love from the first sight until I met her, from the very first day I knew that she will be my most favorite person in all the people I knew, but I never thought I would ever look at her this way, want her that way, I mean this kind of love is frowned upon in all religions , in all civilisations and in all traditions , even in my own beliefs, but time changed everything.
We started as friends, just friends, but I wanted more, so we became best friends, then I kept wanting more, it's like I couldn't get enough of her , but what kind of 'more' can two girls have in a country when straight normal love between a man and a woman is forbidden if they are not married. And then again, even if I am okay with being damned , what about her? I didn't exaggregate when I said she is an angel, because she really is, all her life she has been walking a straight line and never drifted, she was my exact opposite, so obviously the cliche of "opposites attract" is correct afterall.
She represented everything that's white, and I was everything that's black. Her light could brighten a moon-less night, and my darkness could dim an August sun. She only does what's right, and I am made of wrongs and mistakes. So I knew it was impossible for what I had in mind to happen. I mean, I was no lesbian but she was irresistable to me, it's like I kept waiting for so long for something I didn't know what it is, and when she came along I knew, it was her.
My love for her was true and pure, so true and unconditional it didn't care about her gender, her religion or why we can't be. I fell in love with her soul, I fell in love with her purity and I wanted to make her the happiest person alive, I knew she loved me too, but of course not the way I loved her, her innocent pure heart cannot step to this twisted dark area even if deep down she wants to.
Days went by, and I kept growing fonder for her and my love grew bigger and more apathetic about why this is so wrong, it was so big that I started wanting to take whatever this is to the next level regardless what will happen afterwards, I finally asked her out, but of course I didn't say "would you go out on a date with me?" all I said that I want to take her out because she has been a very good friend lately and of course she innocently agreed. I took her to a French restaurant I knew she would love, because I knew how she likes everything that is french and everything that is classy , and she did love it, she loved the atmosphere so much , she loved the food and she loved everything about the place, while having desserts she looked at me and said that she loves me, I knew she meant it in innocent friendly way, but nothing was innocent or friendly about my " I love you too, baby girl " reply . Hours went by and the sweet talks kept flowing, until it was time to take her home and just before she leaves my car , she leaned and kissed me on the cheek and said that she loves me, at that point I gathered all my self control to not rape those yummy lips of hers and just said that I loved her too, and asked her what if she wants to go away with me for a couple of days and stay in this new resort we heard about in the weekend, she gladly welcomed the idea not knowing what I had in mind for her, not knowing how I wanna love her in some ways that can be against the law.
I won't be lying if I said that I was counting minutes not days till the weekend came, I wore a morning dress I specifically bought for this weekend with her, and that sexy perfume she loves, it will be me, her and the only man who never let me down, Jack Daniels.
We spent the day at the beach, I wore my sexiest bikini, I wanted her to look at my body, I wanted her to touch my naked skin and get used to the idea of seeing me almost naked in front of her and I got a bikini for her, at first she refused to wear it, and i knew this would happen, considering she is veiled and spent most of her life covered from head to toe and now I am asking her to walk around almost naked infront of everyone, I wanted to see her , I wanted to eye fuck every part of her, I wanted to touch her bare skin and I already took the decision that I will at any cost, I kept arguing with her saying that no one know us there, that she is her to let go and have fun, I poured some of the bottle of JD into her coke cup and told her to forget about everything , we are here to relax.
Eventually I convinced her and she put on the bathing suit , I let her walk in front of me, I wanted to check every part of her, and think of the ways I am gonna violate each and every untouched part of them tonight. As we took the shortcut to the beach, men were giving us those hungry looks that had always disgusted me more than anything else and women were rolling their eyes so I knew we looked so good, but wait a minute, Why the fuck they are looking at her? She is mine, I regreted talking her into this bikini before we even reach the beach, no one is allowed to touch her or look at her but me. I tried to get over my jealousy so she doesn't notice anything. We finally reached the beach, we laid there next to each other on the sand, talking and laughing , and after her third drink I started noticing the she is getting more and more relaxed and uhmm .. drunk is the word yes. And if you think I am getting her drunk to make my job a lot easier to make her agree to that bad bad thing in my mind, you are completly right. Another hour went by with us talking and drinking, as she reached for her 12th drink , I held her hand and told her "Baby girl, I guess that's enough for you" "Why? It feels so good, and the more I drink the more I want more" " Because you are getting drunk Angel, that's why" I said with a wide smile on my face because of how cute she is "And why aren't you drinking, Angel" " Because I had enough, and Angel? I am no angel baby girl, just you" " No, you are" she mumbled in her drunk voice.
Oh, bless your heart baby girl, the only angel I can be is Lucifer. If only you know what I have in mind for you, and I didn't need to drink, I was already drunk on you. The sun started to set, so I told her we should get back to the hotel to change. We walked our way back to the hotel with my hands around her shoulders and her body pressed against mine, she had way too much drinks to be able to walk on her own and I enjoyed holding her in my arms infront of everyone, I wish I could do so everyday from now on till the day I die, I really loved her and I didn't wanna fuck her, I just wanted to get intimate with her, I wanted to make her happy, I wanted to give her soul orgasms not just sexual orgasms, I wanted to give her the world. she cut my train of thoughts by a kiss she was trying to print on my cheeks but her drunk body failed her and ended up kissing me on my neck. Her kiss set fire to my half drunk body , I couldn't help it but move my hands up and down her back, kissed her forehead, and started walking faster back to the hotel, I wanted her and I WILL have her NOW.
We finally reached the hotel, I almost dragged her into the elevator because of how drunk she was, our room was in the tenth floor,while we are going up, in the second floor exactly, she looked at me with her wide brown eyes and smiled and said that she loves me, I couldn't resist that angelic beauty anymore, I leaned and snuck a kiss off those virgin lips of her, she was too drunk to think to know how to react, and I didn't wait for her to react, I pushed her to the wall and started eating her lips, she tasted better than chocolate and strawberries, I couldn't make myself stop, I was so hungry for her, I craved her so many nights and now she is right here, between my hands, she surrendered her drunken virgin body of her in my hands, I held her hands and guide her to our room after the elevator's door opens, we finally reached our room, I slammed the door shut with the " Don't Disturb" sign on. I didn't want anyone to disturb me while I am in heaven, she sat on the bed, with her eyes looking at me wondering what's next and her sense of right and wrong is drunk thanks to my one and only Jack Daniels, I walked towards her took off the little dress she was wearing over her bikini, and took off that bikini as well, she wasn't resisting but she wasn't doing anything as well, it's like she was there as a third person, watching me seeing and touching what no body has ever seen or touched, I laid her on her back on her bed and laid on top of her, I started kissing her again , her lips were smooth and glossy like a clementine, I took my clothes off , I wanted to feel connected to her in ever possible way, I moved from kissing her lips to her neck, and as I move down , I could hear her breathing getting higher, until she released her very first moan, that drove me crazy, I kissed every inch of her body, I went down on her and done things I never imagined myself doing. I don't know for how long I kept messing with her sweet innocent body but her orgasmic screams always told me that I've done a great job. And after everytime she comes, I remember that soon enough she will sober up and this might be the last time I touch her again, so I start all over again, Until it was almost midnight, we showered together, Just me and her, standing under a hot stream of water, with her breasts pressed against mine, and my arms around her, I just stole a kiss every now and then, she looked so tired and of course she should be, I've been playing with her angelic body for the past 4 hours at least. Once I took her to bed after the shower, she fell asleep immediatly between my arms. I reached over to my pack of cigarettes and lit one, guilt started to kick in, Oh Shit! What have I done? Was I that selfish to scar an innocent heart like hers with such an experience, She will never forgive herself or even worse she will lose her self respect, I know how she will feels, I felt that exactly after the first guy who messed with my untouched body and then walked away a year later, leaving me feeling as cheap as a 10$ whore, but .. I love her and I really didn't do so because of anything sexual, I just wanted to feel connected to her on a higher level. I felt so disgusted from myself, What makes me different now from all the men that always wanted to fuck me and take our relationship to "the next level" and leave after they get bored or even worse men who dump me when I say no to that so called next level. I hated myself so much, I slipped away from her arms and put my clothes on, of course I won't leave but I didn't want her to wake up to find herself in such position, I didn't want her to feel the shame I always felt right after a man finds his way with me. I sat on the chair across the bed all night long, I smoked two packs of cigarettes while praying to that God I lost faith in long ago, if he exists to make the alcohol powerful enough to make baby girl forget whatever happened tonight, not for me, I know I am a sinner and you gave up on me long ago, but for her, that innocent angel that all her fault that a damned person like me loved her, I didn't want her to remember, I didn't want to stain her milky white innocence with my tar black actions. I stared at her for hours and hours until the morning sun came up, oh , here she opened her eyes, for a fragment of a second she didn't know where she is, and then she realized that she is naked, She looked at me wondering why she is naked in my bed as I expected. I faked a laugh and said "baby girl you got so drunk yesterday and when I dared you to take off all your clothes you did!" Signs of relief showed on her face and she smiled and said " I had the wierdest dream" " I hope it was a wet one" " it was, and it was about you, we must stop hanging out so much because obviously my subconscious is turning lesbian because of you" I threw her clothes at her while saying " Hahahaha, if you are up for it you know I'm ready" she laughed as usual and told me her usual " Shut up " that she says whenever she gets shy.
She left to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the drive back home, and I stared to myself at the mirror while I was brushing my hair, not sure if I am thankful because she didn't remember and she won't hate me or herself, or bitter because , again, one more time, I had to give up something I love , something that made me happy and hopeful, I wanted to go all over the world with her, kiss her in everytime zone and spend the rest of my life trying to make her the second happiest girl in the world, because definitely the most happy girl will be me because I am with her. But deep down I was relieved she didn't remember, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hurt her even if on an emotional level. I love her so much, but I have to let her live normally. I need to step away before she remembers anything and hates me, I have to walk away. I will miss her, but I love her enough to let her go.
When in fact everything happened, everything I ever wanted since the day I met her, I still remember the very first day I saw her, I could have swore that she is an angel without wings, her milky white skin, her breath taking smile, I didnt believe in love from the first sight until I met her, from the very first day I knew that she will be my most favorite person in all the people I knew, but I never thought I would ever look at her this way, want her that way, I mean this kind of love is frowned upon in all religions , in all civilisations and in all traditions , even in my own beliefs, but time changed everything.
We started as friends, just friends, but I wanted more, so we became best friends, then I kept wanting more, it's like I couldn't get enough of her , but what kind of 'more' can two girls have in a country when straight normal love between a man and a woman is forbidden if they are not married. And then again, even if I am okay with being damned , what about her? I didn't exaggregate when I said she is an angel, because she really is, all her life she has been walking a straight line and never drifted, she was my exact opposite, so obviously the cliche of "opposites attract" is correct afterall.
She represented everything that's white, and I was everything that's black. Her light could brighten a moon-less night, and my darkness could dim an August sun. She only does what's right, and I am made of wrongs and mistakes. So I knew it was impossible for what I had in mind to happen. I mean, I was no lesbian but she was irresistable to me, it's like I kept waiting for so long for something I didn't know what it is, and when she came along I knew, it was her.
My love for her was true and pure, so true and unconditional it didn't care about her gender, her religion or why we can't be. I fell in love with her soul, I fell in love with her purity and I wanted to make her the happiest person alive, I knew she loved me too, but of course not the way I loved her, her innocent pure heart cannot step to this twisted dark area even if deep down she wants to.
Days went by, and I kept growing fonder for her and my love grew bigger and more apathetic about why this is so wrong, it was so big that I started wanting to take whatever this is to the next level regardless what will happen afterwards, I finally asked her out, but of course I didn't say "would you go out on a date with me?" all I said that I want to take her out because she has been a very good friend lately and of course she innocently agreed. I took her to a French restaurant I knew she would love, because I knew how she likes everything that is french and everything that is classy , and she did love it, she loved the atmosphere so much , she loved the food and she loved everything about the place, while having desserts she looked at me and said that she loves me, I knew she meant it in innocent friendly way, but nothing was innocent or friendly about my " I love you too, baby girl " reply . Hours went by and the sweet talks kept flowing, until it was time to take her home and just before she leaves my car , she leaned and kissed me on the cheek and said that she loves me, at that point I gathered all my self control to not rape those yummy lips of hers and just said that I loved her too, and asked her what if she wants to go away with me for a couple of days and stay in this new resort we heard about in the weekend, she gladly welcomed the idea not knowing what I had in mind for her, not knowing how I wanna love her in some ways that can be against the law.
I won't be lying if I said that I was counting minutes not days till the weekend came, I wore a morning dress I specifically bought for this weekend with her, and that sexy perfume she loves, it will be me, her and the only man who never let me down, Jack Daniels.
We spent the day at the beach, I wore my sexiest bikini, I wanted her to look at my body, I wanted her to touch my naked skin and get used to the idea of seeing me almost naked in front of her and I got a bikini for her, at first she refused to wear it, and i knew this would happen, considering she is veiled and spent most of her life covered from head to toe and now I am asking her to walk around almost naked infront of everyone, I wanted to see her , I wanted to eye fuck every part of her, I wanted to touch her bare skin and I already took the decision that I will at any cost, I kept arguing with her saying that no one know us there, that she is her to let go and have fun, I poured some of the bottle of JD into her coke cup and told her to forget about everything , we are here to relax.
Eventually I convinced her and she put on the bathing suit , I let her walk in front of me, I wanted to check every part of her, and think of the ways I am gonna violate each and every untouched part of them tonight. As we took the shortcut to the beach, men were giving us those hungry looks that had always disgusted me more than anything else and women were rolling their eyes so I knew we looked so good, but wait a minute, Why the fuck they are looking at her? She is mine, I regreted talking her into this bikini before we even reach the beach, no one is allowed to touch her or look at her but me. I tried to get over my jealousy so she doesn't notice anything. We finally reached the beach, we laid there next to each other on the sand, talking and laughing , and after her third drink I started noticing the she is getting more and more relaxed and uhmm .. drunk is the word yes. And if you think I am getting her drunk to make my job a lot easier to make her agree to that bad bad thing in my mind, you are completly right. Another hour went by with us talking and drinking, as she reached for her 12th drink , I held her hand and told her "Baby girl, I guess that's enough for you" "Why? It feels so good, and the more I drink the more I want more" " Because you are getting drunk Angel, that's why" I said with a wide smile on my face because of how cute she is "And why aren't you drinking, Angel" " Because I had enough, and Angel? I am no angel baby girl, just you" " No, you are" she mumbled in her drunk voice.
Oh, bless your heart baby girl, the only angel I can be is Lucifer. If only you know what I have in mind for you, and I didn't need to drink, I was already drunk on you. The sun started to set, so I told her we should get back to the hotel to change. We walked our way back to the hotel with my hands around her shoulders and her body pressed against mine, she had way too much drinks to be able to walk on her own and I enjoyed holding her in my arms infront of everyone, I wish I could do so everyday from now on till the day I die, I really loved her and I didn't wanna fuck her, I just wanted to get intimate with her, I wanted to make her happy, I wanted to give her soul orgasms not just sexual orgasms, I wanted to give her the world. she cut my train of thoughts by a kiss she was trying to print on my cheeks but her drunk body failed her and ended up kissing me on my neck. Her kiss set fire to my half drunk body , I couldn't help it but move my hands up and down her back, kissed her forehead, and started walking faster back to the hotel, I wanted her and I WILL have her NOW.
We finally reached the hotel, I almost dragged her into the elevator because of how drunk she was, our room was in the tenth floor,while we are going up, in the second floor exactly, she looked at me with her wide brown eyes and smiled and said that she loves me, I couldn't resist that angelic beauty anymore, I leaned and snuck a kiss off those virgin lips of her, she was too drunk to think to know how to react, and I didn't wait for her to react, I pushed her to the wall and started eating her lips, she tasted better than chocolate and strawberries, I couldn't make myself stop, I was so hungry for her, I craved her so many nights and now she is right here, between my hands, she surrendered her drunken virgin body of her in my hands, I held her hands and guide her to our room after the elevator's door opens, we finally reached our room, I slammed the door shut with the " Don't Disturb" sign on. I didn't want anyone to disturb me while I am in heaven, she sat on the bed, with her eyes looking at me wondering what's next and her sense of right and wrong is drunk thanks to my one and only Jack Daniels, I walked towards her took off the little dress she was wearing over her bikini, and took off that bikini as well, she wasn't resisting but she wasn't doing anything as well, it's like she was there as a third person, watching me seeing and touching what no body has ever seen or touched, I laid her on her back on her bed and laid on top of her, I started kissing her again , her lips were smooth and glossy like a clementine, I took my clothes off , I wanted to feel connected to her in ever possible way, I moved from kissing her lips to her neck, and as I move down , I could hear her breathing getting higher, until she released her very first moan, that drove me crazy, I kissed every inch of her body, I went down on her and done things I never imagined myself doing. I don't know for how long I kept messing with her sweet innocent body but her orgasmic screams always told me that I've done a great job. And after everytime she comes, I remember that soon enough she will sober up and this might be the last time I touch her again, so I start all over again, Until it was almost midnight, we showered together, Just me and her, standing under a hot stream of water, with her breasts pressed against mine, and my arms around her, I just stole a kiss every now and then, she looked so tired and of course she should be, I've been playing with her angelic body for the past 4 hours at least. Once I took her to bed after the shower, she fell asleep immediatly between my arms. I reached over to my pack of cigarettes and lit one, guilt started to kick in, Oh Shit! What have I done? Was I that selfish to scar an innocent heart like hers with such an experience, She will never forgive herself or even worse she will lose her self respect, I know how she will feels, I felt that exactly after the first guy who messed with my untouched body and then walked away a year later, leaving me feeling as cheap as a 10$ whore, but .. I love her and I really didn't do so because of anything sexual, I just wanted to feel connected to her on a higher level. I felt so disgusted from myself, What makes me different now from all the men that always wanted to fuck me and take our relationship to "the next level" and leave after they get bored or even worse men who dump me when I say no to that so called next level. I hated myself so much, I slipped away from her arms and put my clothes on, of course I won't leave but I didn't want her to wake up to find herself in such position, I didn't want her to feel the shame I always felt right after a man finds his way with me. I sat on the chair across the bed all night long, I smoked two packs of cigarettes while praying to that God I lost faith in long ago, if he exists to make the alcohol powerful enough to make baby girl forget whatever happened tonight, not for me, I know I am a sinner and you gave up on me long ago, but for her, that innocent angel that all her fault that a damned person like me loved her, I didn't want her to remember, I didn't want to stain her milky white innocence with my tar black actions. I stared at her for hours and hours until the morning sun came up, oh , here she opened her eyes, for a fragment of a second she didn't know where she is, and then she realized that she is naked, She looked at me wondering why she is naked in my bed as I expected. I faked a laugh and said "baby girl you got so drunk yesterday and when I dared you to take off all your clothes you did!" Signs of relief showed on her face and she smiled and said " I had the wierdest dream" " I hope it was a wet one" " it was, and it was about you, we must stop hanging out so much because obviously my subconscious is turning lesbian because of you" I threw her clothes at her while saying " Hahahaha, if you are up for it you know I'm ready" she laughed as usual and told me her usual " Shut up " that she says whenever she gets shy.
She left to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the drive back home, and I stared to myself at the mirror while I was brushing my hair, not sure if I am thankful because she didn't remember and she won't hate me or herself, or bitter because , again, one more time, I had to give up something I love , something that made me happy and hopeful, I wanted to go all over the world with her, kiss her in everytime zone and spend the rest of my life trying to make her the second happiest girl in the world, because definitely the most happy girl will be me because I am with her. But deep down I was relieved she didn't remember, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hurt her even if on an emotional level. I love her so much, but I have to let her live normally. I need to step away before she remembers anything and hates me, I have to walk away. I will miss her, but I love her enough to let her go.
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