You Are No Good For Me, But Baby I Want You

Yes, you. I've been wasting a lot of time and energy on you lately and I know it's useless but I don't care anyway, you are with someone else. I know it, you know it and I just don't know what is going on between us. The endless late night conversations, the weird chemistry we have and don't get me started about the sexual tension between us. GOD save me from me!  I can't say that I love you, because I can't and I won't. But what I can say is that I love everything about you. I love how silly you are. I love how you make me laugh about each and everything no matter how unfunny it's. I love how you have a great taste of music. I love how educated you are and how we can have productive conversations. I love how I know if I need advice about anything I'll come running for your opinion. I love seeing you smile, it simply makes my day. I love how you pay me attention. I love how you think that I am sexy. I love your smell, your scent is my favorite perfume. I love it when you come say Hi to me at work in the morning. I love how foul mouthed you are. I love the weird expressions you come up with while we are talking. I love how you are there for me whenever I need you. I loved how you comforted me when I was crying. I just love how close we are and how we have no walls between us whatsoever. Believe it or not, you are one of my most favorite people on Earth.I hate that you are hers. Not because she is not good for you, I don't know her enough to judge. But because I will never have a chance with you. We will never get to live our ups and downs. I will never get to have this angry make out session with you after that huge fight but then we couldn't stay upset at one another. I will never get to dream with you of how our life together will be. I will never know how it feels to be yours. I bet it feels good.How safe I feel around you scares the living hell out of me. I shouldn't be this attached to you since I know it's a matter of months till you go POOF from my life. I won't fall asleep to your voice everyday. I won't look forward to going to work everyday because I know we will never be the same again but you know what? Fuck it. I will just enjoy your yumminess as much as I can because tomorrow isn't guaranteed. If I learned anything from last year it will be that planning ahead never works. God works in mysterious ways and life takes the strangest curves that's why I decided that I will just live it as it is. Day by day, who knows what might happen tomorrow. You are a great friend of mine and I know I have enough of self control that will make me preserve our friendship by not falling for every bit and piece of you. But you know, preventing myself from pushing you to a wall and frenching the hell out of you every time I see you, is harder than you think, my friend. 

Just Feel It, Then Heal It, Then You Will Move On

You just have to feel it and then you will move on. A phrase I once heard I am not sure whether in Greys Anatomy or what exactly, but how true it is shocked me. How we always ignore what we are feeling and refrain from believing it already happened and just keep living in denial and hence in pain for longer than we should.Break ups are hard, dramatic and painful, but if you find yourself in one , wipe all the tears and clean all the candy wraps and have an honest talk with yourself, ask yourself what the fuck did you do? and what the fuck are you doing? and what the fuck will you do? What the fuck did you do to cause this break up? did you had a hand in doing this? did you have a good thing with that person and you ruined? long story short, was it your fault? and please don't guilt yourself into it, answer an honest answer without creating excuses for that other person, if your answer was NO , then let's move to the other question, What the fuck you are doing? Why are you crying over someone who willingly chose not to be with you? I'm not saying that you shouldn't cry , all i'm saying is not to cry over someone who broke your heart, cry over the time you have wasted , cry over yourself when you chose to ignore all the red flags that have been raised during your relationship and you stayed anyway. Next question will be what the fuck you will do? Which is the most important question among all, What will you do afterwards? I certainly wish that your answer won't be I'll try to win him back , What will you do next with your life afterwards is the most important phase. How long will you stay wallowing and reminiscing about what was there?As humans, and specially girls , we tend to ex aggregate, we dig the drama and it's true ,  I sometimes surprise myself by how much of a drama queen I can be, I'm not saying ignore your feelings , all I am saying if you thought of the situation with your brains , you will find everything replaceable , that boy that left you, that job you lost, and what's most important that you should never cry over something that you lost, yes cry for a couple of days but don't give it more than it deserves , think of what you are gonna do next to feel better, don't wallow in your sorrow and ruin tomorrow with yesterday's incidents, Tomorrow will only be better if you wanted it to be , you won't feel better unless you want to. it's the power of your own will, if you learned to think rationally in everything you will never feel any pain. Annoyed over this guy who you just broke up with?  Where the fuck is he? Unless he is trying to win you back then you shouldn't waste another minute on him, Life is too short to waste it on people who doesn't appreciate us, Life is god's greatest gift to us , you should spend it being happy , and its your choice its all in your hands , being pathetic and helpless is a choice not a disability.

He Is Just Not That Into You

Lately I've been reading this book ' He Is Just Not That Into You ' for Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo , and may I say it's a must read for all girls , it's the no- excuses truth to understanding guys for real, it tells you exactly when to walk away from this relationship because it's not going anywhere even if it's a long term one. Sometimes us - girls - we want a relationship to work so bad that we start creating excuses in our heads for why he has been treating us like shit lately , why he doesn't call when he say he will call , why he is not the same caring loving person we first fell in love with , why he doesn't do what he promises to do, and a lot of whys we choose to ignore because we are afraid from the truth, we are afraid to ask them because the answer will always be that ' he is just not that into you '.
But to be honest, this book really taught me a lot, it taught me how I should never settle for less, always know what I'm worth and never compromise, know when exactly to say enough is enough , and I will write about all the guys I've met or at least went out in a date with them once and when exactly I knew that I'm simply not that into them or they are not that into me , I will write about them in Episodes maybe I'll just call them ' He is Just not that into me ' so wait for them.
But again girls , I insist this book is a MUST read , it will make your love life much more easier , it answers all the questions you are afraid to ask , it's the dating bible for us women , after reading it , you will know exactly if he is a keeper or he is just a dickhead you need to dump as soon as possible.
Here are some quotes I really liked from the book and thought I would share them with you girls :


* He's just not that into you if he is not asking you out , because if he likes you, trust me he will be asking you out.
* If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you , he will.
* You are good enough to be be asked out.
* Don't let the "honeys" and the "babys" fool you. his sweet nothings are exactly that. they are much easier to say than I'm not that into you. Remember actions speak louder than words.
* If he is not calling you , it's because you are not on his mind.
* If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.
* Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they are going to do.
* If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings or needs.
* 'Busy' is just another word for asshole, asshole is another word for the guy you are dating.
* You deserve a fucking phone call.
* He is just not that into you if he is not dating you, Remember hanging out is not dating, he may do all the things that a boyfriend does but never actually call you his girlfriend. beware of the word friend . It can be used by men that you love to excuse the most unfriendly behavior , Personally when I choose friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
* Better than nothing is not good enough for you.
* If you don't know where the relationship is going, it's okay to pull over and ask.
* Your lost self esteem may take longer to find than a new boyfriend , so prioritize accordingly.
* Cut him off. Let him miss you.
* He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.
* There is a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex- boyfriend.
* There is no mystery. he is gone and he wasn't good enough for you.
* unless he's all yours, he is still hers.
* You already have one asshole , you don't need another.

The Vampire Diaries

It's been a while since I last watched the Vampire Diaries, been too busy working and all my days off was out with my best friend. anyway, yesterday I downloaded the episodes from the 10th till the 12th , season 3, and watched them. And man, my infatuation with Damon is limitless, not because he is smoking hot, but his love to Elena takes my breath away. I mean, how he loves her though he knows she doesn't love him, how he watched her pick his brother over him more than once and yet he stayed to just protect her and see her safe before his eyes. in  Episode 10, season 3, they finally kissed. and this time she didn't push him away or anything , she completely surrendered to the sweetness of his kiss. it was one hell of a scene , when Damon discovered that Stephan didn't let him kill Klaus to save his life not because he was compelled, He told Elena he started feeling guilty again for what he wants , she asked and what is that you want? which is obviously her, then Damon walked away , but came rushing back told her since I'll be feeling guilty anyway I will feel guilty for this , and then he kissed her. God, When will my own Damon come? 

Come Take A Walk On The Wild Side, Let Me Kiss You Hard In The Pouring Rain

Narcissus Mythology

Narcissus gazing at his own beauty

Narcissus or Narkissos , derived from the greek word ( narke ) meaning ' Sleep or numbness ' , was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in boetia , who was reowned for his beauty. He was exceptionally proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis ( The goddess of Revenge ) saw this and attracted Narcissus to a pool where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus died. And that was where the term of the personality disorder (Narcissism ) was derived from. Narcissistic characters are specified with the following traits :1- Reacts to criticism with anger.2- Wants the best of everything.3- Obsessed with oneself.4- Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others.5- Lacks empathy.
Not that I'm proud of it but I know I am a Narcissistic person, I can never take rejection or criticism well , I always love people stating my positive sides, I always want to be the best in everything , I'm an attention whore, I admit it and sometimes I'm really this cold person who lacks compassion , the last trait is obsessed with oneself ? Hell I made the post about Narcissus about me LOL. 

Take Me Back To A Simpler Time

I miss me. I certainly do. I miss that strong willed confident woman I was. I miss how hopeful and emotional I was. Yes I miss those times when I wasn't as emotionally numb, when I used to feel everything to the extreme. Feel happiness from all my heart. Feel love with every pit in my soul. But I guess when I had to feel the pain to the max I started to try not to feel, because it hurt so much I couldn't breathe literally. When you get disappointed so much in the people you love , you sort of stop expecting and by time you even stop feeling the love, you stop caring , you stop looking forward for a better tomorrow and by time you turn to this soul-less person. numb, emotionally dead and cold would be my middle name now. I miss those days when I used to be able to talk about what I feel and cry my little heart out. The ability of having a good cry is a bless that God took away from me. I tried so hard to teach myself to stop feeling the pain that I forgot how to feel the good things in the process. The thing is deep down I'm still waiting for prince charming to come heal all the pain and save me from what I've become. I know you are out there, prince charming. I need you. Save me from me. Come kiss me and breathe life into me again because I've been dead for so long now that I'm without you and I'm tired from all the fake princes. I need something real to hold on to. I need something real to feel and only you will bring back my soul from the dead.