You Are No Good For Me, But Baby I Want You

Yes, you. I've been wasting a lot of time and energy on you lately and I know it's useless but I don't care anyway, you are with someone else. I know it, you know it and I just don't know what is going on between us. The endless late night conversations, the weird chemistry we have and don't get me started about the sexual tension between us. GOD save me from me!  I can't say that I love you, because I can't and I won't. But what I can say is that I love everything about you. I love how silly you are. I love how you make me laugh about each and everything no matter how unfunny it's. I love how you have a great taste of music. I love how educated you are and how we can have productive conversations. I love how I know if I need advice about anything I'll come running for your opinion. I love seeing you smile, it simply makes my day. I love how you pay me attention. I love how you think that I am sexy. I love your smell, your scent is my favorite perfume. I love it when you come say Hi to me at work in the morning. I love how foul mouthed you are. I love the weird expressions you come up with while we are talking. I love how you are there for me whenever I need you. I loved how you comforted me when I was crying. I just love how close we are and how we have no walls between us whatsoever. Believe it or not, you are one of my most favorite people on Earth.I hate that you are hers. Not because she is not good for you, I don't know her enough to judge. But because I will never have a chance with you. We will never get to live our ups and downs. I will never get to have this angry make out session with you after that huge fight but then we couldn't stay upset at one another. I will never get to dream with you of how our life together will be. I will never know how it feels to be yours. I bet it feels good.How safe I feel around you scares the living hell out of me. I shouldn't be this attached to you since I know it's a matter of months till you go POOF from my life. I won't fall asleep to your voice everyday. I won't look forward to going to work everyday because I know we will never be the same again but you know what? Fuck it. I will just enjoy your yumminess as much as I can because tomorrow isn't guaranteed. If I learned anything from last year it will be that planning ahead never works. God works in mysterious ways and life takes the strangest curves that's why I decided that I will just live it as it is. Day by day, who knows what might happen tomorrow. You are a great friend of mine and I know I have enough of self control that will make me preserve our friendship by not falling for every bit and piece of you. But you know, preventing myself from pushing you to a wall and frenching the hell out of you every time I see you, is harder than you think, my friend.