.

Lover,

I am sorry I am putting you through this again, but the silence is calling out for me. I am tired, exhausted and drained most of the time. I am sorry but I am unable of trying anymore. I just want to let go. I am not strong enough to hold on anymore. My bones are breaking under the heaviness of my being. I tried for you. I tried and tried and tried but I was never good enough and I will never be. I am vulnerable and weak, and I will only hold you back. Let me drown. Let me suffocate. My lungs are already filled with water and I am choking on the bubbles of your love. I don’t want you anymore. I don’t want them anymore. I don’t want me anymore. I want to disappear. I want the silence and the quietness of death. I don’t want to be afraid ever again. I don’t want to shiver whenever your arms aren’t around me. I don’t want to bite my tongue and chew on all the words I left unsaid. I want to be free. Let me be, or to be specific, Let me not be.
Yours,
D.