Your Asshole kind of Lover

You ask if that’s blood that runs in my veins or ice cold poison,
I do not answer.
If you really knew me you would have known that nothing in me “runs”, I don’t have the energy for things like that.
My blood flows apathetically here and there, just because it has to.
You dedicated your entire time for things like “saving me” and “making me happy”, when all I wanted was for you to be there.
I never wanted you to light up my darkness, I simply wanted you to embrace it,
I never asked for you to pour yourself into my emptiness, for all I wished was for you to hold my hand and run with me across its vastness.
What’s the point of giving things to a person who doesn’t know how to receive?
Why do you keep trying to glue my pieces back together, then blame me when my shatters cut your lovely hands?
Someone should have taught you that when you see a beautifully broken piece of glass, you simply admire it from a distance,
But your butterfly shaped heart kept drawing you towards the faint flames of my burned ashes,
I am tired, love. so tired, and you keep pushing for a potential that I used to have but not anymore,
I wish you could just sit down silently for a moment and hold my hand without trying to mention that I am doing better,or that I am getting there,
What if I don’t want to do better, or even get there, I just want to sit still, I just wanted to sit still, with you.
But people like you can’t rest if they are not making the world a better place by their little small acts of kindness here and there,
And I am too proud to accept charity.
Matter of fact honey, I think your numerous attempts to save me or save the world are pathetic, yes, I am an asshole like that,
I think you are as empty as I am, but the difference between me and you, is that you can’t handle the silence echoing through your hollowness, so you always feel like you gotta carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders to keep you company.
You kiss me softly, I bite your lips,
you caress my skin, I bruise the initials of my former lovers down your spine,
You scream and call me “An egotistical piece of shit”,
I reply calmly and say Maybe I am,
You look at me, all teary and pathetic mumbling that I am hopeless and that you tried,
You storm out while I yell,
"Keep fighting your losing battles, fool;
If you didn’t know what happened to Jesus himself when he tried to save humanity,
Well, he died.”
You slam the door leaving my life forever,
while I whisper “And I want you around as long as possible.